Heterosexual, yet still able to read the Times’ Arts & Leisure section without asking, “Who are Patti LuPone and Mandy Patinkin? School-board members from Staten Island?” So heterosexual that when you go to see “Hugh Jackman: Back on Broadway” you can’t understand why he doesn’t just use his steel Wolverine claws to kill his backup dancers. So heterosexual that the thought of two people of the same sex having intercourse doesn’t disgust you it confuses you-“Wait a minute, if they’re both girls, which one falls asleep immediately afterward while the other one keeps babbling about her day?” So heterosexual that when a tax return or a loan application asks your gender you reply, “Straight.” So heterosexual that you think all other heterosexuals should be shot, because they seem a little gay. Alfred Kinsey believed that human sexuality could be charted on a scale of 0 to 6, with 0 being “Exclusively heterosexual” and 6 being “Exclusively homosexual.” Owing to changing cultural boundaries and advanced research, Kinsey’s scale has recently been expanded:
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